In other news

I'm sick and tired of being anxious. I never struggled with anxiety until probably my senior year of college. I would get excited and make a mountain out of a mole hill, but anxiety is kind of new.
I had something like a panic attack yesterday afternoon (Sundays of all days!) which I think resulted from the weird dream I had. After a few minutes with my pastor, everything was better. There was some things weighing on my conscience that I needed to verbalize. It felt so good just to say a few sentences about a few issues.
Lately, I've been trying to internalize things and that's just not healthy. I keep wanting to be OK on my own and I'm just not. I need community. Even though I know better, I keep hoping that I can be fine without the help and charity of others. The more I try, the more I realize I can't be dependent on myself to meet my needs.
Quite frustrating for this American. Lemme tell ya.